It was written with the possibility to one share with my daughter, it would allow a look back at how I felt over time gone past, because as any journey, it is easy to forget how things felt back in time.
If it will share it with friends and make fun of it, or if it may reach her heart.
After the court case has been an gone I was expecting to feel free of the burden and lighter, and with a more open heart towards the teen daughter. But I did not. After court the daughter wanted to catch up over lunch and set up a ten pin bowling outing as a family, I could not.
She felt we had got away with it all, and from our point of view, we felt she had got away with it. She had no remorse, she had lied in court, and what really hurt is the adults in court who should have heard the lie, say nothing at all. The judge did not notice the case did not add up.
We had to stand in the dock like criminals, and be blamed by a judge for things which were not wrong, which were not illegal, but things we had to do as parents. I did not want to read my daughters diary, but after advice was left feeling that if something was wrong with our daughter and we knew it, that reading it, was something I had to do. If it helped shed light on the issues it was the right thing to do.
Did I want to? No, I thought about it carefully, it did reveal some things I already suspected, she had shop lifted, and had skipped school, and was up to no good, she revealed about bulling a girl on the school bus.
I knew she must have been stealing, she had make up and no money, her explanations were weak, but how do you accuse her of that with no proof? I was very unsure, I did suggest the shop lifting, but that resulted in a temper melt down, which I hoped was enough to make her get honest.
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